Monday, July 8, 2024

2024 Half-year evaluation


When I was young, I always thought life would become easier as one grows older. Less emotional excitement, slowing down regarding ambitions, cares and worries. Growing more and more content with what one has achieved, looking around in a stable and richly populated circle of friends that could be trusted and relied on. My grandparents always seemed to be content like that.

Now I am headed towards turning 60 next year and I am beginning to ask myself where in my many turns in life did I take the wrong one …? Because somehow this idealizing image of old age just doesn’t seem to be materializing me. (And I am not assuming I am just not old enough yet for it to happen.)

This year started off wonderfully, the new job in the new town to where I had been dreaming myself for many years, the lake… Then in mid-February things started going wrong with a sudden development I won’t talk about here unless it has been resolved completely. Add serious health issued with rather elderly parents on both sides, the need for relocation on one side (luckily resolved!), and actually on the other side as well (no insight yet, and no preparations made), my husband’s decision to change congregation in the fall which means we have to sort, diminish and pack up our household of 19 years, as my son is going off to university starting in September and I am moving into my own apartment in Ratzeburg – and now, unexpectedly, the news that the practice where I started work in January will not keep me after probationary period. The reasons given are rather vague and sketchy, they refer to minor aspects of work that could easily be fixed if I had been told and were given a chance, but I am not. (Nor was I being told about them in due time, only immediately before the last days of probationary period.) I figure there must something else that is the real reason and not being talked about. This is an experience I am finding a bit difficult to process, and which I certainly did not need at this particular point.

By now I think this year is a strong contender for being one of the worst years in my life, and it’s only half over …

But: my husband and I agreed that I will look for a new job in Ratzeburg, because that is where we want to live when he retires in five and a half years.  So I went back up north to find a new job. I get to keep enjoying the lake, and I will keep my new apartment. Fortunately, there are many jobs for nurses to be found, and even though I had not wanted to go back into hospital and working three shifts plus Sundays, this is what has happened. I have started work on a ward, I have another probationary period to fullfil - by the end of the year I will have worked the entire year ‘under probation’. It all has been a lot more upheaval and excitement than I appreciate, I must say. I do hope things are slowing down now.

Before I left home I worked on my piece for 20 Perspectives’ latest challenge, ‘Conversing with the Earth’, the reveal within the group has happened and you can find the individual descriptions of group pieces on the 20 Perspectives Blog. Not surprisingly, my piece is not quite finished. But I will get back to it when I return home and to my sewing machine at the end of this week.


And, as the berry bushes in our garden were getting ready, at least a part of them, I started my last berry season. As far as I know there isn’t much yet growing in the garden which comes with my husband’s new job, and since we are only going to be there for a few years before he retires, I am not certain yet how much time and money I am going to invest by planting new currant bushes. This is one of the two poignant parts of the prolonged good-bye we have entered into, the other being that I will definitely miss the outdoor pool.



Currently in Ratzeburg, as I don't have a decent sewing machine here nor any fabrics, I am spinning along with the Tour de Fleece 2024


and enjoying the lake whenever I get the chance.

 Living nearby the lake, with only a 3-minute-walk that takes me to a place where I can swim or SUP (and many other places to choose from) is indeed a dream come true. So the year cannot keep being as difficult as it has been lately.

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