Tomorrow is
the day when a decision will be made whether after September 1 I will still be
working in the job I have right now, or not. The district parliament will take
their vote on whether they want to continue funding the project that was originally
scheduled for a 3-year-period. However, the responsible teacher for the class
has told me she has found out that the principal of the school is not
exactly what you would call a supportive part in the whole affair, in fact she is scheming against it. So I am not
expecting a positive outcome for me.
That means I will most likely find myself
without a job pretty soon. Which is rather disenchanting. Despite the fact that
it has been an emotionally very challenging year, much more so than I had
anticipated, it has also been a wonderfully enriching and rewarding year in
terms of the relationships and interactions with my students. I have enjoyed
having a paid job, even if it was for only 10 hours a week, that has given me
the feeling that I am actually contributing something to the family income
beyond a mere work-force in household matters - which is not something I was made
for, but which has really been my position in the family over the last years.
The fabric business does not fulfill that 'paying' function, and making quilts is not
something one can live on in Germany. So the future is rather open right now.
In a way I
can appreciate the thought that it would be nice to have those hours ‘back’ for
me and textile work, and, an important point, to have less emotional
involvement with refugee matters that are being treated completely differently
on the political side than I would like them to be treated. I can’t change German
politics on my own, even though I don’t agree with it, and especially Bavarian politics.
And it is costing me too much emotional and physical strength trying to do so nevertheless. I am a
tired helper. On the other hand I cannot willingly withdraw from the lives of
these nice people I have met and made friends with. And as a third aspect, I do
want to have a job outside the house. So I have started searching. We’ll see
what happens.
I am also
spending quite a bit of time in the garden, as one of the students has offered
to help me with digging and weeding, and what used to be an unmanageable mess
has by now transformed into a well-kept area.
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Trying to grow a few veggies now, after all. The stuff in the front box is saw dust to fight the slugs. |
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Kohlrabi, fennel, green cabbage, and a yellow zucchini in the background |
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Even my old rhubarb has realized that times are a-changing and is attempting a come-back after a couple of years of neglect. |
A couple of
weeks ago I was asked to become a member of another international quilt group,
12 by theD ozen, and after a few days of pondering the matter, I have decided to say
yes. It is a bit of a downer that the first challenge I need to deliver for
(and rather quickly) is ‘inspired by Gustav Klimt’. He is certainly not my
favorite artist, in fact, I find him rather uninspiring. But I have decided to
join the group nevertheless, get Klimt done and over with and then see what
happens. I have even found a picture of one of his drawings in one art book
that I have here at home, so did not have to search the internet or go to the
library. Now I need to get to work on that quickly, as ‘reveal date’ is on
August 31. And I will be gone a bit before then.
Yesterday I
have committed to participating in another challenge, of the local chapter of
the German Patchwork Guild, on the topic of “at home” (in Bavarian dialect). I
know what I want to do - although I will skip the local Bavarian dialect aspect
- and need to get going on that. And then there are other things in the
background. Busy enough to not spend too much time thinking about the future of
my job. However, the future of the refugees whom I met through this job is
constantly on my mind.