Monday, October 9, 2017

My Inner Ccritic...

I had submitted a small quilt for the SAQA Benefit Auction pretty earlier this year, long ago, in fact. And for the first time in several years I have not done any pre-advertising for the auction. Nor did I do my own ‘Dream Collection’ as I have done for several years in a row. I had not even had a chance to look at the different sections to find out which section my quilt would be in… But I received  a mail from Martha Sielman two days ago that my quilt had been sold. 

Piece for the SAQA Benefit Auction 2017
"Crossing the Red Line" - sold!

And not for the lowest auction price either. So that helped alleviate my bad conscience - which at some point prior to the beginning of the auction I had decided I would not have anyway.

About a week ago I had a small exchange with Jeanne Hewell-Chambers after quilting quilt #265 for The 70,273 Project, and I wasn’t too sure whether I really liked the pattern I had chosen. We talked about the inner critic and how you have to silence that part of your brain, and afterwards I realized that the pattern was indeed really pretty good. When you look at it, off the machine.

The 70,273 Project: Quilt #265, quilted, waiting for binding etc.
So not feeling bad about not sounding the trumpet for SAQA for once is in that same line. So much has been going on, I have been doing so many things, I might as well for once say ‘no, sorry, no time for that right now’. At least I sent in a quilt, it sold, and I will send in another one next year, too. And perhaps I will then pre-announce the auction again, too. But unfortunately I do have a very strong-voiced inner critic. I assume that is partly caused by the fact that my father, a philosopher, wrote books about achievement, performance, success, and that way such a frame of mind was vividly installed in my way of thinking. It's hard to step down from that, and it's hard to be a kind and caring observer of oneself. So when Margaret Cooter wrote about 'making time to do and make' only a few days ago I was truly touched inside. With all the things that have been going on during the past (almost) three years - since my involvement with German Refugee Politics began - there hasn't been enough of that in my life. Will it come back? I hope so. On Wednesday I am once again going to accompany one of the Senegalese students from my last year's class to the Central Foreigners Registry and Authority to try and get him a work permit. I am not expecting an easy ride (it hasn't been so far), but I have told myself once I succeed with his case, there will be more time for my own making and doing again. 
Yesterday I quilted another top for The 70,273 Project, this time it was #224. 

The 70,273 Project: Quilt #224,
quilted, waiting for binding etc.

The 70,273 Project: Quilt #224,detail

And I have started to stitch a small piece I am supposed to hand in by the end of the month. Kind of under the pressure of a deadline… 

text messages 14 in the making

But it’s been going pretty well yesterady and today, so maybe I will actually finish in time. How is that for relaxed and leisurely making and doing...? Perhaps I should take another trip to a Café Leisure soon.

1 comment:

  1. your auction quilt looks beautiful!!

    so do the Xs

    good work